Paula Deen Peanut Butter Cheese, no, creamy and gooey Velveeta cheese fudge Y'ALL!

I'm back.  It's been an embarassingly long time.  I'd give you excuses of holidays and travel and family and work, but let me be honest.  I was just fucking lazy when it came to the food blog.  I certainly didn't stop cooking, but I let my little food blog that I love dearly fall to the wayside.  Shame on me.  I missed it and I missed you, so I'M BACK.  Okay? Okay.  We're over it.

So I'm jumping on the bandwagon and starting a cleanse on Monday. You know, one of those drink a shake for breakfast and lunch and eat a low calorie/low fat meal for dinner....then a few days on just liquids bullshit things.  Well I'm doing it because it seems to have good results and hell, I stumbled across my swimsuit the other day and it's time to get myself back into shape.  ANYWHO, it was only fitting on the few days before I torture myself that I stumbled across a Paula Deen recipe for Peanut Butter Cheese Fudge.  Wellllll maybe stumble is stretch.  I do follow her on Twitter and occasionally peruse her website, so it's entirely possible she may have just tweeted the recipe.  IT IS National Peanut Butter month after all.  I was intrigued.  What. The. Fuck. is Velveeta doing in peanut butter?  My mind couldn't wrap itself around the flavor combination, which, is really saying something because my mind has thought about all kinds of random, crazy and inappropriate things. On a daily basis. But it is Paula Deen, so it couldn't taste that bad, right?  Bottom line, I had to try it.  Before "The Cleanse".

So let's start with the ingredients  Which is basically a lot of fucking butter and a lot of fucking sugar.  You can't expect any less from Paula. You don't go into a Paula Deen recipe with expectations of health.

See that big fucking bag of sugar?  Yeah you use all of that.  And don't be lame about it either.  It has to powdered sugar and you're not getting that shit in a healthy 'Splenda' brand.  And even if you were, let's be honest about how healthy 32oz of Splenda is for you.  So don't be fucking lame, just get some deliciously unhealthy sugar.  TWO sticks of butter.  Yep that's right, two. Then your Velveeta, peanut butter and some vanilla.  Paula says you can use chopped nuts, which I think would be good, but I didn't have any lying around so no big deal.

First things first and you gotta melt the butta' and cheese together.  You're only using a 1/2 pound of Velveeta so if you get the pound block, you'll have a whole half pound of more Velveeta to use for....well, whatever unhealthy dish you want to make next.

Get that all melted together and add in your peanut butter and melt it all together.  I just had regular creamy peanut butter but I found this brand at Target called Peanut Butter & Co. who makes a peanut butter infused with white chocolate (that's right, take a moment to let the awesomeness of that settle in).  I'm guessing you could kick this fudge business up a few fucking notches with it.

Next, take a seperate bowl and dump in your suga'!  That's right.  All 32oz of it.  Go ahead and re-read the recipe again to make sure that you read it correctly the first 5 times.   You really are putting that whole 32oz. bag in the bowl.  Then put your peanut butter, butter and cheese mixture on top of the sugar. Don't ask me why it looks so fucking disgusting in that bowl and so different in the picture above.  I have no idea and don't worry because it's totally fine.

Mix it all up with your hands and butter a 9x9 pan....come on, why wouldn't you butter your pan?  You may as well go for the full on heart attack at this point.  Anyway, mix it all together and press it down in your pan. It's sticky, gooey mess of awesomeness.  When you're done, put it in your fridge to cool and harden up a bit.  Slice and enjoy your heart attack!  Actually, enjoy the look on people's faces when you say your fudge has Velveeta in it, then the look on their face when they try it and realize how fucking delicious it is!

If you want to make this delicious heart attack in a pan fudge for yourself, check out Paula Deen's recipe here.  After all, if you're going to make fudge you may as well do it the right way.  THANKS FOR READING Y'ALL!